I used to hate happy people. Happy people used to really rub me the wrong way. How happy they were just irritated me for some reason. It wasn’t until recently I realized that the reason they rubbed me the wrong way. I wasn’t happy. When you are in your own miserable little world it is tough to understand how someone could be so happy. That was me. I don’t know if I would call it miserable but I certainly thought the glass was half empty. I was definitely sabotaging my own happiness.

Today I would say I am happier more often than not. I work hard every day to choose to be happy and positive. The harder I work at choosing to be happy the easier it seems to get.

Amazing how you can change your own state-of-mind. Now I am closer to believing the glass is half full. I don’t sabotage my own happiness (nearly as often). Now I can’t understand why people waste so much energy being angry and negative. These are my 5 tips to help you choose happiness.

Look for the good

You find what you look for in life. If you expect the worst from someone that is probably exactly what you will get. I know I am not perfect and I have tried to stop assuming everyone else is as well. I have had to train myself that when a person or situation has me irritated or angry to find the positive. It is a very Pollyanna approach to life. When you are standing next to that relative or co-worker that drives you crazy try really hard to find one nice thing about them. “Uncle Gary is a total buffoon, but he has a big heart.” If you can’t find one nice thing to say about the person or situation maybe you should limit your time with them.

Pick your battles

You will waste too much energy if you try to correct everything that crosses your path. Pick the ones that mean the most to you. It is important to me that my husband texts me when he is leaving work. I get very worried and upset if he forgets. How he does the dishes isn’t as important. If he does it different than I would I let it go or do it myself. If I had to have it all my way we would be miserable. The key to this is that if you choose to keep quiet about something you need to also let it go. Staying quiet and staying irritated isn’t healthy. Staying quiet and shifting your attention to the fact that you are just happy your husband is doing the dishes will make you feel better.

Celebrate your wins

Celebrating your success, no matter how small, is a form of positive reinforcement. If you feel like you made it through the day without complaining about a co-worker you should recognize that and pat yourself on the back. Recognizing that you worked hard at something and achieved it will give you more confidence and desire to keep going forward. We tend to look for positive feedback from others more than we do from ourselves. When others fail to give it to us we feel miserable and the downward spiral commences. If you give yourself the positive feedback you need it will help you keep striving to do better. Eventually other people will jump on the bandwagon and shower you with the compliments you desire.

Learn from your defeats

You won’t nail it every day. Some days you are going to be a negative nancy. Don’t let it get you discouraged. Don’t use it as your out. Think of this as training. If you are an athlete of any kind and you have a bad day you don’t quit the sport. You go home think about what you could do better, get some rest, do something fun and head back the next day with more gusto than the day before. If you want to choose happiness you have to do the same thing. If you have a bad day or just a bad moment take a second to reflect on how you could have done it better next time. When next time comes and you do it right don’t forget to pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

Act as you would expect others to act

This is the big one. This is the one I feel the strongest about. It is the golden rule for a reason. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The old adage “you get more flies with honey than vinegar” never stopped being true. It works for everything you just have to start doing it consistently to see the results come back to you. Don’t complain about how rude a person is and then forget to use your please and thank yous. If you think someone should be nicer to you try being nicer to them. They may feel the same way and if someone doesn’t extend the olive branch you will never know. Happiness begets happiness and angst begets angst. If you want more happiness in your world put more happiness out there. It is small things like saying excuse me when you need to walk in front of someone browsing at the store. Maybe they pass that along, maybe they don’t but you can feel good about how you treated someone so it doesn’t matter what they do with the gesture.

It is yours to choose. You can choose to be happy with the world and work to make it a place you want to be a be. You can choose to be angry with the way the world works and fight and argue with everyone in your path. You can choose to let go and enjoy the moment or complain about how bad the experience was. When I started on this journey looking for the good wasn’t easy. I found that if I didn’t have anything nice to say then saying nothing was the next best thing. If you aren’t ready for all the tips start small and just try not to add any negativity to the world for one day.